Friday, August 05, 2005

But can you imagine the beholder?

I've officially found the world's ugliest chair:


The aquatically-themed chair is on some giant plaster base with satinesque orangio-pink and cyan fabric. The print is of a pond with fish and other plants. The arm rests you see are cranes who are spearing fish:

The monstrosity is so shit-monkey ugly that words fail me. The best part of the deal, however, is that it is part of a complete set: another chair, a table, and a sofa. Imagine the people who originally bought this--their shear joy in the knowledge that they were owners of pure ugly.

Ah I wish that were true. "Oh Evelina!" I can imagine the bored 60s housefrau on the phone to an equally bored Weight Watchers friend. "You've simply got to come see the beautiful living room set LaDell bought me for our anniversary! It goes perfectly with that orange swag lamp you saw at S&H Green Stamps!"

I'd buy the set to put it out of its misery by blasting holes in it with a shotgun out in the desert, but I bet second-hand store owners would want more than 10 bucks for it.

If you are in the SLC crew, go down and look at it. It exists between 6th and 7th South on State.

7 comments:

  1. I've seen it and it is frightful. If I had more space in my apartment, I swear I would buy it. Just so when people came over we could laugh about the hideous thing. What I want to know is how many of these were made? And when? And why? What would be great is if you had a chair like this and one of those orangey, wagon-wheel frame couches. And a velvet painting on the wall, of course.

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  2. I worked in second hand furniture for over four years and I can safely say it truly is the ugliest piece of furniture I have ever seen. But this puppy was made special. It didn't come from a manufacturer.

    Someone needs to find out how much they are asking. I'll bet you good money they are "expensive" because they are custom.

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  3. This doesn't look sixties era, though. Does it?

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  4. No probably not sixties, but I needed some leeway to get a beehive harido image in your mind.

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  5. that is hella ugly. Wouldn't it be like the sweetest gag gift ever? Too bad it's expensive because I would certainly chip in 10 bucks.

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  6. I honestly say I've never, ever seen anything like that.

    What does the table look like?

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  7. Anonymous3:30 PM

    I LOVE IT!

    It would go wonderfully with my D.I. giganto-lamp

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