Signifying nothing

Friend Cordelia offers Naomi Shihab Nye 's "At the Seven-Mile Ranch, Comstock, Texas" for your consideration.

A new SigNo feature for you: mobile poetry! Join the revolution and call in the poem of your choice to 801-930-0674. It can be your own work or a favorite of yours. Be sure to identify the author (even if it is your own) and the title. I reserve the draconian right to exclude any submission I see fit. The submissions will be featured here on SigNo. Ok, Megastore, Dr.Write, Middlebrow, Snyder Mahler, Counterintuitive, Cordelia, Kendrakoo, Antistrophe, & Sleepy E I'm calling you out in particular. Don't be some kind of poetic wimp and flake on the mobile project!

Butter Cows Originally uploaded by ribizlifozelek How could I miss the State Fair for 10 years in a row now? I used to like going to the fair--particularly visiting the animal stables, and admiring how their owners had preened and spiffed up beyond recognition their cows or sheep or pigs. Further on, the chicken house was always unbelievably noisy, given that chickens are perhaps the noisiest bird known to man (save perhaps the previously-mentioned magpie) and not only cackle, but crow, and guffaw, and screech through most of the day. I also quite enjoyed going to look at the prize vegetables and wondered how in the hell they could get them to last not just through a county fair but through a state fair as well. It was a wonder of modern agriculture to me. Of course I never considered that they put in different vegetables to replace their county fair winning entries, but that would take the magic out of it. Then, of course, there are the oddities of the State Fair--the butter co...

Dear caller, Signifying nothing can indeed help you with your problem of having no problems! Believe it or not, it is rather common for people not to have problems. Many people lead perfectly ordinary (if not somewhat boring) lives one hundred percent problem free! As you can imagine, this situation is quite problematic. Researchers are committed to solving the problem of problem-free lives. They currently are testing rats to maximize their failure rate at finding tasty bits of cheese in mazes with the eventual hope of extrapolating their findings to human beings, given that we all know that cheese is the most problem-free food. The government has for many decades now taken the lead in finding ways to distribute problems equally amongst the populace. With the recent change in the federal administration, however, the direction of those efforts has changed significantly. Take heart, caller, you are not the only one with no problems. Support groups for the problemless can easily ...

Aside from 6 letters in the same order, Ireland and Iceland also share something else in common: mitochondrial DNA (mDNA). mDNA is the kind of DNA you get from your mother. It, in fact, is handed down daughter to daughter, generation after generation. What is interesting about Iceland is that even though it is assuredly Scandinavian, a good share of its mDNA is closely related to women who lived in Ireland thousands of years ago. How is this possible? you ask. Space aliens ? While space aliens would be a very satisfying answer, scholars speculate that the real answer is much more earthy: rape and pillage. You see for centuries Vikings terrorized the British isles, storming in and stealing goods and women. When settling Iceland randy and wifeless Norwegians took a nip into Ireland and stole some them some wives. Ipso facto. Fascinating!

Scary super-90's fitness guru Susan Powter is back, baby, and if you live in a human body you will listen. Another one for Elisa. Sorry, Elisa, I just like the nostalgia. I feel compelled to note that Ms. Powter is not compelled to stop the freaking insanity of the advertisements on her site.

And I can imagine the British voice overs: "Hello hello hello! What's going on here then!" It does look much more like a Cops episode, however. I do like how Officer Cluck in the back kicked the perp after he and offer Scratch broke up the fight. Note, as well, How officer Scratch intercedes himself between the two miscreants while his partner takes the rear guard. It really is nice to know that cop maneuvers and football and basketball plays are commonly shared in all us critters.

Vote!

It looks like the Wilco show tonight at Red Butte Gardens here in Slick City is the official end of summer show for me. School starts Wednesday and tomorrow is full of meetings. Not to be a sourpuss, but this has not been much of a summer.

Since everybody seems to be into the wordle thing, here's a 300 word wordle of Moby Dick : Avast ye! I'm curious why "One" is so prevalent in Moby Dick . I mean, you expect "ye" and "thee" and even "Starbuck" but "One?" Note how small "God" is. Kind of tells you something about the tale of Ahab, eh?

I think we might have the next British sitcom that is going to take America by storm here: YouTube - A[von & ]S[omerset]Police's Channel . Basically, they are loony British 911(999) calls about wasp attacks, run-over pigeons, homeless squirrels and so forth. You're going to have to click on several of the "videos," I fear. It is a good pastime on a hot afternoon, I tell you what. The 999 operators are quintessentially British sitcom straight men: both polite and condescending all rolled up into one. The callers show that what we witness on previously mentioned British sticoms is a clear and accurate picture of humanity, complete with wacky accents. Certainly American dispatch centers can top this, given our propensity to fire arms, family violence, beer, and incredibly wacky (and possible destructive) accents. Ricky Gervais, eat your heart out.

In seeking out information on whether Redman Campground here in Utah up Big Cottonwood Canyon was open or not, my friend discovered this gem (also known as crap) in the Internet's tubes: Redman Campground - Wasatch-Cache National Forest, Utah . (Note the map puts the camp ground in downtown Salt Lake, right where the First Security building is instead of up Big Cottonwood canyon. It must be fun to camp at a bank.) I have no idea who wrote this page but I have a pretty good idea how they did it. For those of you who don't want to follow the link, here is a sampling of the fun: This campground is a good place to go to. A journey to Jordan River State Park when you're here at Redman Campground is a pleasant idea; an afternoon playing golf at Old Mill Golf Course is always a bliss. Ok, you've been cooped up for too much time, you need to get out of the house, and Redman Campground in Utah is a magnificent site to go. You can run the rapids of Jordan River next to Redman ...

Look familiar? Originally uploaded by Theorris Woo hoo: Salt Lake City Weekly published one of my photos. It is of buddy Catinlap on a disc golf outing to Solitude summer resort. Update: " Disc-y Business " Update 2: here is the original--

Ghostland Observatory Originally uploaded by Theorris I witnessed Ghostland Observatory at At the Venue in SLC (sorry At the Venue is the place's name). The Templar cape was well-chosen. The crowd went chaotic at the end and joined the pair on stage. Great show. I have no idea how in the hell the singer sings the way he does , night after night and is still spot on. You have to listen to him to understand the energy he puts into it. It is like a super-amped falsetto with range. They certainly engaged the crowd. Boom--boom--boom. Grind. I haven't been writing enough about my musical adventures lately. Perhaps a sea-change is in order for this old blog. The Justice thema has been quite effective, but now that summer is in the offing, I feel the need to be hedonistic: now maybe it is bump-and-groove time. Six months might be the length that one (meaning I) can extend a blog thema, anyway. Don't want to get stale now, do we? (Meaning me.)

Our mutual acquaintance Joel Veitch over at Rather Good dot com has a new video based upon an advertisement he created: feel_the_burn_small.mov (video/quicktime Object). Why the hell not?

It is all downhill from here Originally uploaded by Theorris I went up to the World Superpipe Championship at the Park City Mountain Resort in Park City, Utah this weekend with friends. We were late, of course, since it was a Saturday morning and some numbskull decided it was a good idea to start the competition at 9:00 am. Consequently, we missed pretty much all the snowboarders, save the last 5 and Shaun White's victory lap, where he pushed the big air limits. What the hell is up with the world? Why is this activity rewarded while I, as a fifth grader in 1975 had to go to the school nurse because of unfortunate contusions due to my skateboard wreck and, therefore, caused the banning of all skateboards at my elementary school? Where is justice? I was not in pain. My friend Kevin Scheib and I were forced to go to the nurse because some ninny teacher thought we looked too banged up after we took the whole of the asphalt hill at my elementary school and wiped out, painfully, I...

Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle : "Barack Obama baked you a pie" There is something so friendly about that--nearly as friendly as his folding my laundry.

9 Straight! Originally uploaded by Theorris Three point fest tonight. Rock on. A comment was made that "we won't see that happening again for a long time from a Jerry Sloan team" by, I think, Jeff Hornacek. Despite his experience with Sloan, I certainly hope that is not the case. It has been nice watching the Jazz develop the long bomb game, along with a strong inside presence over the last 2 years. Sloan has been unfairly categorized as a inside game guy. Perhaps he's changing in his old age. Perhaps he can develop a full-court sense. Perhaps he skillfully works with the players he has on hand. I think that is the case. With Okur, Korver, Kirilenko, Miles, and Williams as potential long ballers, I think he is set. Given that Okur has suddenly ramped up his inside game, I think we're golden. Round 3* in the finals, here WE (as in the Jazz) come! Now if the Jazz pull of a Conference win, oh my. *Parker's out. Marbury won't get in the groove ...

Here you go: Shout Out Louds . They're kind of like Matt and Kim meets The Vines meets Bright Eyes . You'll like them. They have nice energy. Play 100 degrees. You'll never been unhappy again.

TV on the consciousness Originally uploaded by Theorris If you want one with your very own visage, let me know. I'll swing you a deal. If you want one with mine, piss off. It is mine.