Sunday, January 28, 2007

"The Frost performs its secret ministry"

Does someone at KBYU have a sense of humor, or inheret what?

Given last year's contentious debate in the Utah Legislature over intelligent design, and the fact that the same body is in session again, it struck me as funny that someone at KBYU decided to program Inherit the Wind for last night's classic family movie. I might note as well, that the movie not only hits the notion of biblical authority head on, but takes a side-swipe at prophets of god in that the William Jennings Bryan character (Matthew Harrison Brady, played by Federic March) is seen proclaiming that he is, indeed, a prophet of god, but also condemns religions that rely on such prophets. Brady (Bryan) is a conflicted character in the movie and March gives him not only pomposity, but simple humanity.

Chris Buttars sort of looks like Matthew Harrison Brady, doesn't he?

Friday, January 26, 2007

Excellent move

Putting its economic clout to good use, California has passed some new regulations that won't off-shore (well out-of-California) its pollution:

California power companies will be barred from buying electricity from most coal-fired power plants after state utility regulators adopted new limits on emissions of heat-trapping gases linked to global warming.

Thursday's 4-0 vote by the Public Utilities Commission prohibits investor-owned utilities from entering long-term contracts to obtain electricity from sources that emit more carbon dioxide than a modern natural gas plant. The so-called 'greenhouse gas emissions performance standard' takes effect Feb. 1. (AP Wire | 01/26/2007 | California power companies barred from buying dirty power)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

No show snow

Get that toilet-brick ready, my friends, it looks like we're in for a dry, dry summer in the Place, Elevated: Salt Lake Tribune - Mountain snow a no-show. We'll see how much my crazy-for-his-lawn neighbor will water said grass this summer.


The word of the day is smog. S-M-O-G.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


It must be just the just-past b-day (which seems to be still be celebrated in that I am still receiving well-wishing gifts), but I have forgotten how much I really liked Marianne Faithful's Broken English. The eponymous song is prescient and the final track, "What did you do that for?" seems just as obscene as ever.

Go Jazz

Go Jazz, originally uploaded by Theorris.

Oh yeah--went to the Melta Center to partake in a Jazz game. They kicked the T-Wolves asses. Good birthday gift for me. The Croin joins me in celebrating the victory.

Monday, January 22, 2007

BBC - Arts - Poetry: Out Loud

Holy bajolie! The things you can find on the Internets: BBC - Arts - Poetry: Out Loud!

I probably should go for some of Tennyson's drone in one of the Poe-etcis.

Disingenuous or ignorant: you make the call

State Senator Darin Peterson, R-Nephi, has an interesting perspective on why Utah does not have a felony animal cruelty law:
Peterson isn't sympathetic to those who would abuse animals. 'I raise livestock for a living,' he said. 'We've had animals shot with BBs, arrows.'
He said he is nervous that such legislation might be used by animal rights activists to victimize farmers. 'I shudder to think doors we open up when we make it a felony.' ( | Pet-cruelty law sought:)
The last time I checked private citizens (in this case the dreaded animal rights activists) did not conduct prosecution of criminals. That function is carried on by government through the district attorney. So is the Senator being disingenuous here or ignorant? What comment, as well, is he making about his farming practice that someone might characterize it as cruel?

Just when you thought I couldn't get dorkier....

...I go and do something like this*.

I will say Tamurlane is one of the most difficult poems to read aloud. Poe's metric line is funky.

*Thanks to Dr. Write for coming up with the excellent podcast title.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Home Energy Saver

Given that many folks in the north are motivated this time of year by staggering energy bills, here is The Home Energy Saver to help you figure out how to save some money and reduce your overall energy use from the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory.

Know what they are up to

The Utah Chapter of the Sierra Club has a Utah Legislative Session Bill Tracker. Already there are some shenanigans afoot up on the hill (like that is a big surprise.)

Who should be offended, mayor Johnson?

Just depressing: UDOT highway proposal would pave over Utah Lake wetlands. (Salt Lake Tribune)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Golly, it only took a DEATH for her to slow down?

Utah drivers must shape up
Last week my son's preschool teacher was involved in an auto-pedestrian accident that took her life. After this incident, I started paying closer attention to the speed limit. What I noticed is that if you go the speed limit, someone will soon be tailgating you. I also noticed everyone is busy doing other things. Utah drivers, we need to slow down, get off our phones and pay attention to the road and those on the road. This will be the only way to limit the number of accidents and fatalities.

Christianne Higley
( | Utah drivers must shape up)

I will give Ms. Higley the benefit of doubt here and note that my title for this entry is snarky. Yes she is admonishing idiot drivers to slow down and pay attention. It is too bad that it takes the death of another human being for her to come to this conclusion.

Having a pedestrian perspective, however, I cannot tolerate those who continually excuse their treacherous behind-the-wheel behavior. If, for example, you hear of someone running down a pedestrian, there is very little rancor unless said driver was drunk. It is amazing how little regard some people have for others while traveling at (literally) breakneck speed through residential areas.

Slow the fuck down.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Morning Statistics

Inversion, originally uploaded by Theorris.

Early morning statistics

Number of single-driver cars which passed me at the bus stop at 3900 South 2300 East from 7:25 to 7:29 am: 41. Number of multiple-passenger cars which passed me in the same time frame: 10. Number of people waiting for the 39 bus: 2*. Number of pedestrians passing by: 1. Number of people on the bus after your intrepid statistician boarded: 5**.

*including the observor.

**excluding the driver.

Monday, January 15, 2007

3 recently viewed flicks

I've watched 3 bad movies recently:

1) Lady in the Water: This movie proves, yet again, that M. Night Shyamalan needs someone to stand behind him while he is on his auteur chariot and whisper "All fame is fleeting. All fame is fleeting." What the hell M. Night? What the fucking hell? Watch Unbreakable and get back to your core, dude.
2) Black Dahlia: The same for Brian De Palma. Just because you can make a stylish movie, doesn't mean you should try to do it with a convoluted script and some very bad acting. Poor De Palma. Scarface beckons you.
3) Superman Returns: Paying homage to Christopher Reeve and Marlon Brando is one thing, totally ripping the poor dead guys off is another. The only redeeming thing about this movie is Kevin Spacey's imitation of Gene Hackman with none of the humor that Hackman brought to the role. He was positively menacing, like Jack Nicholson was menacing as the Joker in Batman. Postmodern, indeed this film sort-of was. Too bad the Lois Lane actress didn't get it and put on a spoof of Margot Kidder. Too bad the directors really didn't get it either.

Oh well.

1.6 freaking degrees!

1.6 freaking degrees!, originally uploaded by Theorris.

I have the day off to honor MLK, so I don't have to go out in it.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Inappropriate panorama #7: Basketball Hoop

Jazz are on a spectacular losing streak, eh?

Saturday, January 13, 2007

A question for you, gentle reader

If you were going to do a podcast side project in which you recite the complete poetic works of Edgar Allen Poe, one a week for 49 weeks, what would you call it?

Friday, January 12, 2007

I won't ask him if he knows about the well-digger's ass

I was coming downstairs to fetch a fresh brew to inspire me to do the dishes. Housemate The Croin was deep into the Justice League video game. "Did you bring the brass monkey in, or should I?" I asked given that it was 10 degrees out and it was only 6:30 in the evening.
"Did you bring the brass monkey in or should I?"
"Brass monkey?"
"You don't know about the brass monkey?"
"As in brass monkey, you funky monkey?"
"No. Brass monkey as in freeze the balls off a. As in it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. It's ten degrees out, dude!"
"Sorry, I've never heard of that expression."
"What the hell are they teaching kids in school these days?"

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Don't you wish you had a magic sticker like this?

What?, originally uploaded by hopabout.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Oh Woe!

Ramen will just never be the same: Instant noodle inventor dies (World -

The eulogies for this great man are heartfelt yet accurate:
"I believe generation after generation will talk about Chicken Ramen. I don't think there will ever be an instant noodle product that beats the taste of Chicken Ramen." (ibid)
While I would argue that Sesame Chicken was a far better flavor, I will not do so here out of respect for the dead.

Mr. Ando's death has inspired your narrator to conduct a contest: write an elegy about Momofuku Ando and post it as a comment to this post. (That's an elegy not a eulogy.) I will then select the best elegy through sheer will power. The winner will receive a half-case of Chicken Ramen! A half-case! Just like the ones you see in the store!

If one of you sissy poets has such a refined palate that you wouldn't deign to eat ramen (or you are have good sense not to eat such a high-fat, high-sodium McMeal) I will be happy to donate said case to the Utah Food Bank.

Let the elegies commence!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!
Originally uploaded by Theorris.
A bit late, I realize, but what the hell.

We were actually downtown at the Depot or some place like that. It was entertaining.

I had great sake nigiri and sake drinkini earlier in the evening.

Now on to the new year.

It is all good, you realize. All good.

I'm looking forward to a good long winter and lots of snow. Then there will be a good long spring and lots of green things.

That's just a prediction, mind you. I'm no Pat Robertson, but I think I can predict that spring will indeed return.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Smartass statement I wish I would have made

Sometimes I could just kick myself for not being more politically minded:

After reading the Dec. 26 article on military enlistment in Utah, it is easy to see why Utah is the most red state in the Union. I do not believe Utah has failed to do it's share in paying the price for freedom. Thousands of Utah natives have paid $3.95 for the 'Support Our Troops' ribbons that they display on their automobiles. Some have two or three! Now that's putting your money where your mouth is. It's a small price to pay for freedom, but someone has to do it.

James Storey
(Salt Lake Tribune: "A small price to pay")
Looks like it might be time to recommend a few overly-zealous Utah youth I come across who all just happen to by-pass military service to Operation Yellow Elephant. I won't mention the name of a particular student I am thinking of recommending from the institution where I work since he quite regularly ego-surfs the Internets for his name. Many of SigNo readers know and loathe said student for his zealous quest to bring guns to campus and ban any sort of behavior that he and his ilk consider immoral and yet names said authoritarian yearnings "freedom." He also seems to believe that we are besieged from both within and outside the borders of the United States. Like many other young Utahns of his mindset, he has not, for all I know, ever considered defending the liberty he believes to be so threatened on the battlefield.

Haven’t Heard?� Boise State Win Grips Town | Boise | New West Network

The Boise State/Oklahoma Fiesta bowl played last night was most likely the best bowl game I've ever witnessed. Woot Boise: Haven’t Heard?� Boise State Win Grips Town! Well ok it might not be the best game ever, but it is the best one I've seen in a good long while.