(Brought to you by the same people who brought your Clintor of Omicron Seti 6.)
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Hi [Theorris],I had to look in the self-perception mirror and wonder if it was really me she was addressing this to as I have never qualified myself nor my abode (whereever that may be) with the term cool. I am also vaguely amused at the idea of showing off my clothes-strewn bedroom, but no doubt the folks would want to just stick to the living areas where all the borrowed ART resides. (Ever see that episode of Kids in the Hall where the guy borrows his friend's ART--said with great pronunciation of the A?) The whole thing seems vaguely embarassing and loaded with a lot of potential mockery of your gentle narrator.
Long time no see. I hope you're doing well. I'm now working as a staff reporter from the Trib's magazine, IN. Every week we do an MTV Cribs-style story where we tour a cool person's house and take photos. I was hoping you'd be up for it. It's pretty fun. We also have a short profile of the person at the start. All together, the interview and photos should take an hour. Please let me know if you'd like to do it or know someone who would.
My question is to you, dear reader, what the hell would you do?
Update: (1 July 2006)
Ok I'm going to do it. That pussy remark, E, made me realize I was being a twonk about it. What the hell do I care about what people think?
I'm glad you're willing to do it! Let me get in touch with you after July 4
about the best time. It'll be within the next two weeks. Tiffany's going to
do it, too. Thanks also for the leads. I did ask Candace early on, but she
has moved back in with her father because she's getting her MSW.
[Ace Reporter Friend]
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
How does the need to have a "cute" meeting with a potential mate factor into our own perceptions of the rightness or wrongness of a relationship?
Monday, June 26, 2006
Baseball season is upon us!
Originally uploaded by latejc1976.
Possible captions: "See what happens when you get stung by a bee" or "Man those sideburns have got to go."
By the way, why have I overheard the etymology of the word "sideburn" 3 times since last week? (They are named for Civil War General Burnside.)
Saturday, June 24, 2006
I need to find my Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD.
Friday, June 23, 2006
I used to be better at this whole blogging thing.
I used to be better at this whole blogging thing.
That's about the time things started going downhill, I think. I jumped the shark somewhere in 2003.
The mirror has two faces, indeed.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
"Nothing to see here. Move along," the Jazz were saying yesterday like a Monty Python version of a British cop; all the while they knew that behind their outstretched arms was a train wreck. (Osterblog, "Chaotic Stability")
Dang if I don't feel like some fancy sports writer. Note the expert use of a semicolon.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Sinead O'Connor's Collaborations, on the other hand, is a compilation of her work with other artists. (And I know that last link sucks, but that' s all I could find that seems official.) Aside from some rather unfortunate work with U2 and the ever-boring Peter Gabriel, the whole of the collection is very strong with Bomb the Bass' "Empire" leading the way for compelling music. There is a broad range featuring O'Connor's perfect voice: some political and some just downright sexy and overwhelming. (Did I ever tell you I have a thing for Sinead's voice? God damn that woman can sing. Oh wow. If only every woman could sing like she can.) Sorry about that. I was just fantasizing for a moment. Did I ever tell you I have a thing for Sinead O'Connor? It probably has something to do with the Irish girl I was desperately in love with once. (Hey and no bald chicks jokes, suckas. She's grown her hair out now, but still chicks who shave their heads are sexy in my book. Remember the woman from Star Trek I? VEEJUR! VEEJUR! ) But I digress.
So which is the best?
I'll leave that up to you. They'll both be back in the SLC Public Library by the 24th of June.
Next there was a rip-roaring TIE between South Korea and France futbol game. (To be fair it actually made me think I could watch soccer and made me forgive KSL slightly for showing a dud RSL game in place OF THE MOST IMPORTANT HOCKEY GAME OF THE YEAR--oh wait I've ranted on that already, haven't I?) Anyway, the Korea/France game was a fast-paced and they all were on attack most of it, but still a TIE. There is nothing worse to my finely tuned American sports sensibility than for something to end in a tie. Ties. Oy. It is what makes me consider hockey a lesser-sport, and at least they have made it so it is next-to-impossible in hockey to get ties any more--ok I know that is not true, but I'm on a rant so forgive me.
Then there was the woeful closing performance of Mickelsen in the Open (a "hideous finish" as the Denver Post called it) which came hard-on-the-heals of Tiger Woods's woeful overall perfomance.
Finally, there was the bizzarely-ending Mavs vs. Heat game which featured clueless players making clueless TIME OUT CALLS. (Man I would hate to be Howard riding home on that plane last night.)
All these sports mis-adventures this weekend left me restless and feeling that something was just not right with the world of sport. What does all this portend, I asked myself last night while shutting off the idiot box from the Mavericks game. What does it mean?
I can only come to the conclusion that all this is leading to a great rupture in the sporting universe--something like the sudden return of Michael Jordan to try to sure up his Charlotte Bobcat's investment. Perhaps it is the ouster of Jerry Sloan from the Jazz and he is replaced by Karl Malone. Perhaps ABC will suddenly come to its senses and start showing most of the playoff games on broadcast channels rather than cable? Perhaps it is that Hot Rod Hundley will start a rib shack in Holliday with the tag line on the to go boxes that says "Put this one in the refrigerator, baby!" Maybe the Onion is right and Jesus will make a triumphul return to the NBA?
What, indeed, is the solution to this enigma?
Maybe I just watched too much fucking sports this weekend.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
No, it looks like I am going to be forced to roll my ass out of bed and clean my sty of a house. Ok, it really isn't a sty, but it motivates me to think that it is so I'll do something.
Can you tell I'm in a particularly foul mood this morning?
"And don't call me Chief." (That's Perry White, if you don't recall.) Somehow I don't think Jimmy Olson would say "crap" however. Now Lois Lane would, but that Lois is a guttermouth.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
"'We said we would support it with some restrictions. But now, we're re-looking at it because people are stirred up. We'd like the decision postponed because of the public outcry.' "Note how the folks opposed to the development are described: "anglers" and "fishing enthusiats" not "radical environmentalists" or even just the more bland but probably just as inflamatory "an environmental group."
Friday, June 16, 2006
"A female kangaroo has saved an Australian farmer's life by alerting his family that he was lying unconscious in a field."
"An irate Johnson also told radio listeners O'Neal was being protected by the league, saying: 'It's been around forever — certain players get royal treatment, certain players don't.'
Johnson opened his show with a Cuban-like rant against the way the league has handled cases like this, later saying there is 'no rebuttal, no trial and jury, just a judge.'
'I've been holding my tongue all year about the foolishness, just the foolishness that goes on there,' said Johnson, who was voted the NBA coach of the year in his first full season.
'They're so inconsistent. I'm just embarrassed to have to deal with some of the things I have to deal with. ... We are in a position where we have no authority and we're always reminded of that — we're just coaches.'"
Exactly. Sounds familiar, eh?
"A free 'Shred-A-Thon,' originally scheduled for Saturday by Weyerhauser Document Destruction and Recycling, has been postponed and probably will be held in the fall. "
Thursday, June 15, 2006
"President Bush has decided confer permanent protection for the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands under the Antiquities Act of 1906, the White House said Wednesday night."
It is amazing the amount of work you can get done flat on the floor. Stunning, this whole thing.
"President Bush will create the world's largest protected marine area today, designating as a national monument a 1,200-mile-long chain of small Hawaiian islands and surrounding waters and reefs that are home to a spectacular array of sea life, senior administration officials said last night."I saw Cousteau's film that is mentioned in the article too and couldn't agree more with this action. I won't comment on the irony of the action by fiat, however, in regards to the Escalante/Grand Staircase fiasco of the last administration. It is not that I don't want to, it is that I am having a hard time typing from the prone position (flat on the floor) that Bush's action has put me in.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
"It is getting close. Solitude supposedly openned last weekend, and I'm itching for another season of mountain disc golf. As it rained on Saturday, however, Melongrab and I decided to stay down in the valley."I am also looking forward to sharpening up my regular golf game, improving my ringer ability in horeshoes (I only managed to nab one the last time we played), revisiting tennis for the first time since I've taken up regular golf, playing late-night basketball at the newly discovered hidden hoops in my hood, doing mad biking on the shoreline trail, taking up bocce, and, of course, developing a kick-ass extreme croquet course in the mighty yard of Wilhelm greatness. Did I leave anything out? Well camping and hiking of course, but that's just something you do here in God's country. It is like breathing.
kutv.com - Police Chase Ends When Dog Bites Off Owner's Nose?
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Aside from the titularly mentioned Zardoz (which is now gracing the shelves of some unsuspecting soul), there were still a few things hanging in there despite the incredibly picked over shelves.
Here then, without much further commentary are my finds. Comment as you are wont.
I think Sheena is right up there in the running for the best 80's psychic talk to the animals movies of the 80s.
Do you know if you can find Manimal on DVD? I've got Beastmaster somewhere.
2) I swear to god Albert Finney was wasted throughout this entire movie. The filum also makes extreme use of a solarizing filter to give you THE WOLFEN's point of view. In the end, however, its just dogs and Finney smashing a model of an urban renewal project.
Hey there is some animal theme going in here, isn't there?
I think I saw Frank Langella living in a trailer down by the river.
What do you get when you put together Farrah Fawcett, Harvey Keitel, Kirk Douglas, the director of Signing in the Rain and a horny robot? Unmitigated disaster! Only John Boorman's Zardoz could outdo this one, I think.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Artichoke Recipes brought to you by Artichoke Advisory Board of California: "GRILLED ARTICHOKES
(Recipe for 4 artichokes, 8 servings � artichoke each)
This recipe is perfect for the lazy cook, since all preparation can be done the previous day. The slightly smoky taste compliments the nuttiness of the artichoke and no dip is necessary, although some might want to use additional marinade for dipping.
4 large artichokes
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 T minced ginger
1/4 cup olive oil
1. Slice artichoke tops off, crosswise. Trim Stems.
2. Boil or steam artichokes until bottoms pierce easily, or a petal pulls off easily.
3. Drain artichokes. Cool. Cut each artichoke in half lengthwise and scrape out fuzzy center and any purple tipped petals.
4. Mix remaining ingredients in a large plastic bag. Place artichokes in the bag and coat all sides of the artichokes. For best flavor marinate in the mixture overnight in the refrigerator but should marinate at least one hour.
5. Drain artichokes. Place cut side down on a grill over a solid bed of medium coals or gas grill on medium. Grill until lightly browned on the cut side, 5 to 7 minutes. Turn artichokes over and drizzle some of the remaining marinade over the artichokes. Grill until petal tips are lightly charred, 3 to 4 minutes more.
6. Serve hot or room temperature"
Well that and a big, juicy steak. I'm such a bad vegetarian. The artichokes were grown in Nephi, however.
Did that make you laugh?
Friday, June 09, 2006
Here goes nothing:
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. - On the 18th page, the 4th line says: "They took their three mothers' blessings, they made no distinction between them, and came to their father's court."
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? Empty space.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Dallas vs. Miami. Dallas kicked their asses.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is. 3:30?
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 2:43. Zoid, I'm 45 minutes ahead!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Siouxie Sioux's group The Creatures playing on my computer. The aquarium gurgling away letting me know I need to put water in it. The wind rusting the aspen tree next door. A couple of cars passing by.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? 15 minutes ago. I walked to the corner market (ok it is a Tesoro, but it sounds cooler if I call it a market). I also thought about deadheading one of the rose bushes in the north paddock (ok it is not a paddock, but it sounds cooler if I call the sideyard that.)
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? I looked at my other computer that is burning a DVD I am making.
9. What are you wearing? A white shirt that I get compliments from women on. My olive drap cargo shorts and my tevas.
10. Did you dream last night? Not that I recall.
11. When did you last laugh? I laughed when I thought about the Eagles of Death Metal watching my stupid wookie video.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? 3 paintings, a pastel sketch, a photgraph, and the doorbell.
13. Seen anything weird lately? Cat vomit on the carpet.
14. What do you think of this quiz? It made me notice the cat vomit, which I am now going to clean up.
15. What is the last film you saw? This is really bad, but I don't remember. I think some really bad Kevin Bacon movie where he turns invisible and sings to butt rock in his Porsche.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? A ranch where I could set up a cool small liberal-arts college for folks who do not have all the advantages in life. I'd hire many people I know to teach there and we'd have a grand old time.
17. Do you like to dance? Nope and it is a good thing since I am the crapiest dancer around.
What happened to 18 & 19? I told them to get off the bus.
20. George Bush: is our current president who although there are things he could have done better in his tems, he has held the nation together through times of great parrel.
First of all was this question written by Bush? Anyway aside from spelling peril correctly, I would say that I haven't seen so much acrimony in this country since--since--since--the last president. As one great mind put it, it is the obligation and the right of every American to hate or love the current President, not particularly in that order. Personally Bush is annoying: he is arrogant and walks like he has (as my father would have said) a board up his ass. Since I am an optomist I will say we will weather his terrible government and be the better for it.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Foxene.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad? I'll take Scandanavia any time. I like the dark, the cold, and making bathtub aqua vitae.
23. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate? Where's my hat?
24. Four or Five people who must also do this quiz in THEIR journal: Late JC has to be up next. If Chak ever gets a blog he should do it too. Sarahbellum is a good candidate for someone I've never met, and Snyder too. As for the regular blogging crew: Hightouch, Dr., Counterintuitive, Mid-B, Sleepy, and Hip have to do it too.
18. & 19. I've been looking everwhere for you.
As my buddy Jeff and I were approaching the Depot to see what time the Eagles of Death Metal went on stage I said "Hey that's guy." He was talking to a hot leather-bound girl with beautiful blue eyes. "Yes, I am," he said without missing a beat. The conversation with the girl was quickly concluding and she said "well I'll see you inside" and promptly left.
Seeing an opening we started to chat with him, but Jeff had a better idea. He had just called Mariah to see if we could go over to her old place which is currently being occupied by Mariah's sister-in-law Kali and her boyfriend. Instead of talking to Mariah, however, he simply handed the phone over to our Eagles of Death Metal friend. "Hey baby, how's it going?" he said and I busted up laughing. "Its Jessie. You know 'Eagles of Death Metal.'" Mariah, being the Mariah that she is, then proceeded to talk his ear off. Jessie didn't mind the attention, it would seem, and by the end of the conversation some minutes later, he found that he had been invited to an after party at Kali's. I was laughing the whole time he was talking to her, and I hadn't quite witnessed anything that funny in a long while.
Flush with our brush with rock and roll stardom, Jeff and I walked the few blocks to Kali's ArtSpace loft.
2: Moving out
The pre-concert crowd at Kali's was the mixture of the artist folk who are always there and various other folks interested in seeing EoDM. Artists are generally great partiers, have interesting, some might say quirky things to say, and always have a sense of style. Since I have no sense of style, but have interesting things to say, I get away with it and sort of fit in. My Wilkes-Barre, PA "Whiskey Business" tee shirt was a minor hit as a conversation stater and many were stunned that it was just a little neighborhood bar. It scored me free beers, so can only commend its success as a conversation-starter/beer-garnerererer.
With said beer in hand I then proceeded to talk the ear off the SLUG editors about a work-related issue which I shall ot speak of here. Suffice it to say it is something cool related to interships etc.
As we sitting on the porch at Pierpont, a big guy, a welder it turns out , walked by with some beer and said "I'm moving back to Vegas tomorrow and your the first people I've seen hanging outhere in the 3 months I've lived here."
"Salt Lake can be like that," I said. "You just have to know where to go."
"Too late for that." He seemed a bit embittered by his lonely Salt Lake existence. He was in town working on the construction of a new building. The job was finishing up and he was finished with SLC.
"You should go to the show with us," I said taking one of the beers he was offering up. "It is only 14 bucks." We convinced him of the coolness of the Eagles of Death Metal and he agreed to go.
3: The Set
The show itself was at the Depot. It has been putting on some great stuff thanks in great part to Cade the impressario who Friend Jeff knows quite well. With the demise of the old Zephyr there seem to be a slight decline in the number of shows coming through town. Nevertheless the Depot is a pretty decent venue. The prices aren't as bad as I was lead to believe for a stiff drink, the sound system is very good, and it is big. Really big.
The band started out strong and kept going until I think they had pretty much played everything possible to play. I lost track of their set, but they played about nine encores complete with the birthday song for the kick-ass guitarist. Mariah and Kali delivered the celebratory cake to said guitarist.
4: After Party
The band was good for its word and came over to ArtSpace and hung out. They were very friendly folk and got a kick out of my telling them about the wookie version of "Whorehoppin' Blues." I didn't actually give them the URL to the movie, and I would hope to hell they never find it online.
The party started out small, but grew increasingly larger as word got out that they were there. As I had to work the next day, I had to leave early. On the cab ride home the cab driver was quite chatty, but, like the bitter welder from earlier, wanted to talk more about his bad times in Utah rather than about our brush with rock and roll fame.
Bitterness is a common theme in SLC, I suppose, which, I'd like to say, was not repeated by the Eagles of Death Metal. "We've never had such a great show with such a great audience," Jessie, the lead singer, told the crowd at the after party. "I usually never go out after a show, but Salt Lake is great!"
Update: Urban Spelunker Dan Nailen of the SL Trib agrees that the show was full of extra-rock-goodness.
Update 2: LateJC is posting pics of the event (they were all his anyway.)
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Either way my precious brains would be in jeopardy.