The valley pitchman
From his tiny, one bedroom
Apartment
This is one of the most incredible things
That I have ever seen
It can make you a fortune
The secret, the secret no more than four
Or five days
Finding tiny, classified, little ads
Out of my one bedroom apartment
In four or five little
Days
For the last five years
I've been talking about this
For the last five years
Doing exactly what I've been
Talking about
For the last five or
Four years
Talking
Out of my tiny, one bedroom
Apartment
(About this)
Did you ever think you'd be depositing
Did you ever think if four or five tiny
Little years
If you get started buying and selling
You might not want to do anything
Else
My very own 1-900 line
You can be set up with your very own
1-900 line
Your very own
My very own
Tiny little very own ninehundred very tiny little own
My
They even take the calls for you
While you are sleeping you can even be
Making money
(While your are sleeping)
The most exciting thing you have ever done
I told all kinds of people and all lot them don't believe me
I
II: Slitting your own throat
no one knows what went through the mind
of the valley pitchman when he sliced his
own throat
locked in a jail cell, after countable charges
were leveled against him. there were no
supermodels there to comfort him. no family
no one, tiny, little, person to stop his hand
A razor blade is simple
III: these days
A few people remember him
Mostly they mock him
Mostly they watch video of comics
Sending him up
And they vaguely remember
What they were mourning
Early in a cold, empty morning
Thirty years ago when the
Pitchman was there profering
Hope
But there are a few who believe in
Tiny little ads
That can bring salvation from a tiny
One bedroom
Apartment