Europas Macho-Club!

I knew my photography and ability to imitate Hulk Hogan would make me famous one day:

Europas Macho!

Two questions:

1. What is the number for David Hasselhoff's German agent?
2. Is this what European macho men look like?

From the Typewriter to the Bookstore: A Publishing Story

Best lines (not-exact):
"Authors take between 10 to 30 years to produce a text."
"The author will submit the text to an agent. The agent will staple it and submit it to the editor."
"Editors traditionally select character names."
"All communication between editor and author is conducted on twitter."

"Mom said I'd never get anywhere with these games"

I was reading the always-entertaining Salt Blog (put together by Salt Lake City Weekly staff) and came upon this gem that the blogger (Brandon Burt) was using to tie up a joke on a post about an old Outer Limits episode:



This is almost as good as the creepy video that runs regularly during Utah Jazz games with the bizzare computer graphics guy menacingly approaching the screen, and hopped-up personalities (such as in the Westwood commercial) touting the great career opportunities of sitting on your ass for hours on end designing video games that will allow other people to sit on their asses for even more hours on end. That commercial actually failed in its prime duty, however, since I cannot, for the life of me, remember the school's name. Thank the video gods for that.

Are you being served? or Anything You Can Do, We Can Do Better

I think we might have the next British sitcom that is going to take America by storm here:
YouTube - A[von & ]S[omerset]Police's Channel.

Basically, they are loony British 911(999) calls about wasp attacks, run-over pigeons, homeless squirrels and so forth. You're going to have to click on several of the "videos," I fear. It is a good pastime on a hot afternoon, I tell you what.

The 999 operators are quintessentially British sitcom straight men: both polite and condescending all rolled up into one. The callers show that what we witness on previously mentioned British sticoms is a clear and accurate picture of humanity, complete with wacky accents.

Certainly American dispatch centers can top this, given our propensity to fire arms, family violence, beer, and incredibly wacky (and possible destructive) accents.

Ricky Gervais, eat your heart out.

What better way is there to say I love you?

I just received this from West Valley inimitable E Center:

Take your Sweetheart to the PBR!

Make Valentine's Day last more than a day. Take your sweetheart to the PBR Bullnanza on February 29 and March 1 at the E-Center!

Click on the following link for a special Valentine's Day offer. Print one page for each ticket you are intending to purchase and redeem them ONLY at the E-Center Box Office.

http://www.lazye.com/storage.axd?entry=35

Regular tickets may be purchased at the E-Center box office or at all Smithstix outlets. To purchase on-line,click on the next link or copy and paste it into your browser:

http://ev8.evenue.net/cgi-bin/ncommerce3/SEGetEventList?groupCode=ECBUL0301&linkID=datatix&shopperContext=&caller=&appCode=

PBR! Bullriding! Romance!

I'm so there.

Avalanche Terror!

You never know when terrorists will strike! Perhaps it will be while I, and my big wig colleagues will be sojourning at Deer Valley. They might cause an avalanche: UAC Avalanche Advisory. Scroll down to the bottom of that page to read this:

This advisory provided by the Wasatch Cache National Forest, in partnership with:
Utah Division of State Parks and Recreation, The Friends of the Utah Avalanche Center, Utah Department of Emergency Services and Homeland Security and Salt Lake County

My italic emphasis. Be on the look out on the slopes for Osama. (Actually he apparently did like to ski back in the Regan Era.)

Oh and hello, Homeland Security blog censor/reader/operative. I know you've been assigned to this duty. I'm just a regular guy. I don't know nothing. Sorry for making fun of and being frightened of you.

Renga fears

Since most of the renga invitees are going to be busy for the next unforeseeable bit, I fear it will wither and dry like August wheat.

Why am I so amused by this story?

ksl.com - Missing Hiker Found

The best quotation from the story:

"Rescuers say generally it's not a good idea to take a sleeping pill when you're lost in the mountains. They say you need to be awake in order to be rescued. They say they were calling his name last night, and say if he was awake he probably would have heard them."

Who the hell goes hiking with sleeping pills anyway? Demanding readers want to know, KSL!

---------------
Now playing: The Limbik System - Pot Smox
http://foxytunes.com/artist/the+limbik+system/track/pot+smox

The oddity of the Internets

Why in the hell would this comment

Hello, I learned that you produced Nightmare Theater in SLC and I grew up in Tooele. I remember watching it with my folks I was about 3 and I would like to know how the starting was. I would like to be able to view the opening again to find out why it scared me so much as a child. If you could please help me I would appriciate it. Please e-mail me at jneenersmile@yahoo.com

Thanks Again

Janeen

be found on this post over at The Eye of Orris

Found on stage at the Depot in Salt Lake City after their show, March 31, 2007. ("Note 38: Apples in Stereo Play List (authentic)")

What strange Internet voodoo is afoot? How do the Apples in Stereo even remotely relate to Nightmare Theater? What school of thought is teaching that I had some secret career as an infant producing bad local TV? Will the real Fireman Frank (he hosted both the Fireman Frank* kid show and the late-at-night Nightmare Theater*) be haunting this blog soon as other former SLC kid show hosts have done? Will he offer me copious amounts of unsolicited information about the seamy underbelly of the show? Will Janeen ever discover what truly frightens her?

*Both these shows, moreover, ended their run before I really remember them, although I do recall my siblings talking about them. (I have very vague memories of Fireman Frank, that's all.)

"Paw Paw for Jesus!"

If you didn't hear This American Life this past weekend, then I urge you to listen to it (Episode 102: Road Trip!) online via mp3 or with their player doohickey that I can't link to here because it is javascript-crippled. The first three acts are ok, but act four--"Paw Paw for Jesus!"-- is classic. The fun commences around 50 minutes. "Paw Paw for Jesus!" is a short story by Chicago writer Cheryl Trykv who I or the Internet's tubes know precious-little about. I do know she's done other This American Life stuff, but that's about all. Anyone heard or read other stuff by her?