Signifying nothing

It is all downhill from here Originally uploaded by Theorris I went up to the World Superpipe Championship at the Park City Mountain Resort in Park City, Utah this weekend with friends. We were late, of course, since it was a Saturday morning and some numbskull decided it was a good idea to start the competition at 9:00 am. Consequently, we missed pretty much all the snowboarders, save the last 5 and Shaun White's victory lap, where he pushed the big air limits. What the hell is up with the world? Why is this activity rewarded while I, as a fifth grader in 1975 had to go to the school nurse because of unfortunate contusions due to my skateboard wreck and, therefore, caused the banning of all skateboards at my elementary school? Where is justice? I was not in pain. My friend Kevin Scheib and I were forced to go to the nurse because some ninny teacher thought we looked too banged up after we took the whole of the asphalt hill at my elementary school and wiped out, painfully, I...

Walkie talkies! , originally uploaded by Theorris . This is the child who perpetrated the crimes mentioned below, and many more. I settled down into a depressed teen after my father died, driven by an unknown future. That's bound to make anyone stop doing stupid things. Now that I've outlived Elvis, however, I feel the prankster or hellion in me returning. Ok, it never left.

I knew it would come down to this: Hightouch tagged me to give out 7 interesting facts about myself. My first instinct, as with all things like this is to be obstinate and ignore the request. My second instinct is to actively mock the request. I will, however, comply, as I think it brings out several key unsavory facts about my childhood before the age of 10 that I want you all to realize right now: I faked being sick for 3 weeks in third grade so I wouldn't have to go to school and then lied about the reason why I was faking illness. I blamed my best-friend Spencer and he never forgave me for it. I once threw a fit at Christmas when the new Battleship computerized game didn't work right out of the box. All it needed were the batteries. My father was quite disgusted by my behavior. I destroyed a birdhouse I was making because I couldn't get a nail to go in without bending. I'm talking hammer flailing ultra-violence here. As I recall my friends whom I was build...