Advice to Passengers

So my flight is delayed. Well, it is more than delayed; it was basically cancelled. My airline, however, did the right thing and put me on a non-stop flight from another airline. I get into Kansas City later, so it does mess me up a bit, but what the hell. This gives me the opportunity to enjoy the great airport bar prices. I should have purchased a mixed-drink--maybe a gin and tonic so I can feel more like some sophisticated traveler with the excellent view of downtown salt lake from Concourse B, but I have chosen good old honest Uintah Cut Throat. So much for sophistication, even with my new hair cut that I've decided makes me look old. Perhaps it is time for a wardrobe change. I foresee a very tweedy future and lots of elbow patches. Elbow patches rock. Rock hard.