Signifying nothing

I could write about the horrible Jazz loss to the Hornets tonight, but instead I will introduce a new feature to Signifying nothing, Peeves, of the pet kind [TM]. This feature, which I will no doubt abandon like a Vacation Macaque on a bender abandons his last Budweiser, struck me tonight as I realized that I really hate it when my fingernails are not trimmed to their bare minimum (without causing pain.) This leads, of course, to another peeve: fingernails that are trimmed too closely (which causes pain and unfortunate bleeding). Don't you just hate both conditions? Actually, I guess, female readers will be much more conflicted about their fingernail length. Perhaps you can teach me something: how the hell do you deal with long fingernails, women? The feeling of overly-long nails, to me, is like scratching said nails on a blackboard. It is an irritation. It is disturbing. When they are too short, of course, that is just painful. Can we have a happy medium? Aristotle, why...

This morning a reporter from KSL News Radio interviewed me about the aforementioned possible demise of the Snelgrove sign. It is to air during the noon news.

We can prevent this! Originally uploaded by Theorris Sugar House in SLC is under attack yet again: the historic Snelgrove sign is the latest Sugar House landmark under threat. The sign, for those not in SLC, is on 21st South, just before 9th East. It has been there for decades and used to advertise the Snelgrove Ice Cream store that was one of the last pure ice cream fountains that saw its heyday from the early 20th century until about 1950. The Snelgrove store hung around until the late 80's/early 90's when Snelgrove sold their brand to Dreyer's. Dreyer's quickly ditched the store, converting it into corporate offices. The plot thickens now, since Dreyer's has decided to abandon the Snelgrove brand in favor of its own. This, in itself, is not problematic, but, unfortunately, Dreyer's apparently wishes to so de-brand Snelgrove that it is going to remove this famous Sugar House landmark. Albeit Dreyer's is seeking to give the sign to a local group, but...

Well after a very shaky, might I say butter-fingered start to tonight's game, the Jazz came to their senses and pulled out a great come-from-behind victory against the Pistons. I don't know what in the hell was going on in Minnesota (other than the Jazz may have been dazed by the continual howling of the timber wolf sound effect they apparently like to use ceaselessly in Minniapolis), but I'm glad they pulled out of it for a fine 1 and a half quarters tonight. They actually looked like the playoff contenders they are. On other victory from defeat fronts, House Bill 188 that I wrote about earlier that had shady intent on UTA, failed by 8 votes in the Utah House of Representatives. I received the following email from previously mentioned Representative X: After hearing the floor debate today, I voted against HB188. Thanks for writing and sharing your views on the bill and the role and management of UTA. [Representative X] Is this the end of statewide legislative meddling in...

Joel Veitch of Quizno's Sponge Monkey commercial fame (among many other things) has used one of my pictures in his ode to Cake: Cake by rathergood.com . Go eat some cake now. The Hypno Kitten commands it! Up next: the Idaho Press-Tribune uses one of my photos of Built to Spill for an entertainment piece. No word on when that is coming out, however. The reporter was pretty sketchy about it, and didn't even promise me a hard copy. She seemed young and enthusiastic, however, so I let her have the photo.

JMD of the excellent Transit in Utah blog has noted that HB 188: TRANSIT REVISIONS has moved out of committee to the full house: Here is a surprise to no one. A House Panel has passed the bill that gives the state more control over the Utah Transit Authority. Once again the misguided efforts of the Anti-Hunger Coalition that sees the state as their savior is going to cost them in the long run. Just look at the two people who are pushing this bill. First you have Wayne Harper out of West Jordan (what is it about West Jordan?), who has in years past tried over and over to have the state take over operation of UTA and thus steal the sales tax money approved for TRAX and move it to roads. The other person pushing this is Senator Sheldon Killpack who is also shown to be anti-transit and looking to raid the UTA of funds to give to highways (even though all the TRAX money would only be a drop in the bucket). Clearly neither of these two men have transit in their best interest. ( Transit...

Unknown future Originally uploaded by Theorris This is a recovered photo using Scott Kelby's 7-Point System for Adobe PhotoShop CS3 that I started on last weekend. It is well-thought-out instruction manual, that has the reader actually doing the projects instead of the normal explanation of what the PhotoShop function does. As the title suggests, Kelby has a 7-point system. In each lesson you pretty much do the same thing over and over and over again. The value of repetition in teaching cannot be underestimated. While you run the risk of boring your students, doing things over and over and over again is the sure way to know that a person is going to learn how to do it, and, more importantly in my book, why they are doing it. You should see the original of this image--it is nearly black because I way underexposed it (due to my inability to think fast and change the shutter speed in manual mode on my camera.) While still not a very good picture, at least I could pull something...

For Richelle Originally uploaded by Theorris Remember when I brought your Irises? And then a chinese candle? And we talked of books and poodles and, I do believe, apricot bread? Now I give you fennel.

Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle : "Barack Obama baked you a pie" There is something so friendly about that--nearly as friendly as his folding my laundry.

Click on this: Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle . You will be hypnotized for at least 5 minutes by its wily ways.

Looks like Mrs. Frank Burns is alive and well in the Utah Legislature: "Sen. Margaret Dayton, R-Orem, is familiar with this criticism. It prompted her comments Thursday that helped kill a bill to provide more funding for Utah's IB programs. In voting against HB266, she said she is 'opposed to the anti-American philosophy that's somehow woven into all the classes as they promote the U.N. agenda.' Dayton acknowledged Friday that she has never witnessed an IB class in session. She also said it's possible 'good things' are happening in the program. It's the language she says is associated with IB that galls. She has a problem with the program's association with the International Baccalaureate Organization, based in Geneva. She issued a written statement Friday that contends Switzerland's replacement of its arbitration rules in 2004 with those of the United Nations Commission on International Trade Law taint by extension the IB itself. This mea...

Something is compelling me to share this story with you, dear reader, but at the same time I can think of nothing to say about it. I want to make a joke, but joking just seems wrong--very wrong: The victim's mother, Teresa Emery, said her son rejoined her at the cash register with the man after she asked store staff to page him over the loudspeakers. Over his clothes he was wearing white coveralls designated for LDS temple wear, she said. "He can barely dress himself on his own," Emery said. "[The man] basically had to force him to do that." When the man offered to pay for the jumpsuit at the cash register, Emery tried to take it off her son. When she unzipped it, she said, the man intervened. "He zips it back up and buckles it . . . right in front of me," Emery said. "He says, 'I want to buy this for you.' . . . He hugged him and told him he'd see him again, that he loved him." Emery said she had never seen the ...

The SL Trib's Reader Advocate Connie Coyne, has a thoughtful exploration of the response the Trib gets on the immigration issues: "Currently considered a 'third rail' in politics - or a concern that can kill a political career - the issue of immigration is one that often draws emotional, sometimes irrational, public comment. Don't believe me? Take a look at the comments on Jessica Ravitz's story on the break room for cabbies at Salt Lake International Airport -- closed after controversy developed when Muslim cabbies were using the quiet room for daily prayers. Now they are out on the pavement for the five-times a day religious duty. And, no cabbies can use the little building with toilets and snack machines." ( Covering all angles of a simmering issue - Salt Lake Tribune ) She then goes on to delve into the hateful commentary that gets spewed in the comment section of stories that involve immigration. Xenophobia is alive and well, my friends.

If you are wondering why comment moderation has been turned on it was because I had to lay the smackdown on a racist commenter on the previous post. I immediately deleted his or her insensitive comment. All I have to say is if you are in my house you play by my rules. I had variations on the theme that I could have written, of course, and the best of them was "Hey ditto-head racist: get the fuck off my lawn." It was easier just to delete the comment.

You might want to go sign the We don't support Chris Buttars Petition given that according to Utah political blogger Bob Aagard there is a pro-Buttars Eagle Forum petition out there. ---------------- Listening to: Billie Holiday (Tricky Remix) - Strange Fruit via FoxyTunes Update 7:44 pm, the same: petition signer #59 left this comment: 59. Unless you are citizens of West Jordan 90702 your arrongant opinions are irrelavant !! While I don't live there now, considering my ancestors pretty much founded the town, does that give me extra-cred in voting? Obviously #59, a resident of Artesia, California , doesn't understand freedom of speech. Just because a person is not your elected representative, does not mean you cannot sound off about that person and their scurrilous behavior. Then again, #59, doesn't seem to have any problem with mouthing off about Utah politics from his or her wannabe Orange County home. Funny, that.

Wednesday night clip show for you or a blast from the past from the Signifying nothing channel while you wait for the writer's strike to work itself out: August 5, 2004 Fun for the whole family "It hurts me when you give me the silent treatment!" she sobbed. She had been going at him since 17th South. Evidently he had applied for something related to school, but was turned down because he didn't have a high school diploma. "Why do you have to do that? Why? Look at me!" and she grabbed his jaw. Early on I had heard him whisper that he didn't think the bus was the right place to talk. "Well you won't talk about this at home either, so why not here?" She wasn't sobbing then, just irritated. He obviously gave her the silent treatment quite a lot, since he was so good at it. That did not stop her, however. "It hurts me to see you fail! It hurts! Why do you do that? Why can't we just get off at the next stop and cross the str...

A very tiny rendition of an Okur 3 pointer. Originally uploaded by Theorris Well there was no reason to run up the score and create animosity, so the Jazz didn't. Over all it was still a very good game, despite the Jazz being a bit loose on defense. Clippers up next? Jazz move ahead of San Antonio in the rankings. Boo yeah. Yeltsin!

The Jazz score 77 points in a half? Are we looking at a return to their early-season massive scoring streak? This bodes well, my droogies. Now if they can just contain Golden State and Yeltsin (Don Nelson), I would be much happier. Allowing 64 points is not good, even if you are scoring fools. * (Bill Lambier)

Nearly there Originally uploaded by Theorris I spent a large portion of the long weekend learning what I should have known about PhotoShop a long time ago. When I took these pictures of the Spiral Jetty back in 2002, I was sorely disappointed in how they turned out. My camera color-corrected the hell out of them and the sky lost all of its saturation. Needless to say, I was quite disappointed that I wasn't able to catch the intensity of the sunset. It was certainly one of the most surreal, ethereal moments I've spent on the planet to date. I was quite pleased, however, to learn that PhotoShop could come to the rescue on badly exposed image. This rendering of the scene is as close an approximation of what this really looked like at the time. The sky, however, needs to be more raspberry, but this is as close as I can get now. Expect to see more of this image and its Spiral Jetty companions over at flickr as I refine my color processing technique. This really is what it lo...

Aftermath Originally uploaded by Theorris Tokyo is not the only city to be destroyed by the mighty Godzilla! If you can't laugh about this culture/history destroying madness, then we might as well just go slam our heads into the pavement. You should see the print out of this. It looks great. And note: Godzilla is charging up for a blast of his green plasma breath. It had something to do with his back spines. Godzilla's Profile by Cunaldo used in compliance with the images Creative Commons share and share alike license.

"My brother's a framer" Originally uploaded by Theorris The only purpose for this image was that the folks in the circle were discussing various vocations. None of them spread beyond anything not related to construction. Nothing wrong with that, in all, but I sense the "working man's" distrust of anything beyond his (and it very much as a male dominated conversation) point of view. I've always been pissed off by this small-minded blue collar perspective on what is acceptable work. I grew up in this shit, you see. Oh boy it still rankles.

Five simple candles, Gaudy with sanctimony, Punish me with fear.

La Mano Mas Poderosa Originally uploaded by Theorris

Look down Originally uploaded by Theorris You might see something.

I just received this from West Valley inimitable E Center: Take your Sweetheart to the PBR! Make Valentine's Day last more than a day. Take your sweetheart to the PBR Bullnanza on February 29 and March 1 at the E-Center! Click on the following link for a special Valentine's Day offer. Print one page for each ticket you are intending to purchase and redeem them ONLY at the E-Center Box Office. http://www.lazye.com/storage .axd?entry=35 Regular tickets may be purchased at the E-Center box office or at all Smithstix outlets. To purchase on-line,click on the next link or copy and paste it into your browser: http://ev8.evenue.net/cgi-bin /ncommerce3/SEGetEventList ?groupCode=ECBUL0301&linkID =datatix&shopperContext= &caller=&appCode = PBR! Bullriding! Romance! I'm so there.

You never know when terrorists will strike! Perhaps it will be while I, and my big wig colleagues will be sojourning at Deer Valley. They might cause an avalanche: UAC Avalanche Advisory . Scroll down to the bottom of that page to read this: This advisory provided by the Wasatch Cache National Forest, in partnership with: Utah Division of State Parks and Recreation, The Friends of the Utah Avalanche Center, Utah Department of Emergency Services and Homeland Security and Salt Lake County My italic emphasis. Be on the look out on the slopes for Osama. (Actually he apparently did like to ski back in the Regan Era.) Oh and hello, Homeland Security blog censor/reader/operative. I know you've been assigned to this duty. I'm just a regular guy. I don't know nothing. Sorry for making fun of and being frightened of you.

Heyo...some immediate action needed, dear Utah readers. Take a gander at the email I received from Jessica at HEAL Utah: Dear [Theorris], Your State Senator, [Sen. X], will be voting on Renewable Energy Provisions (SB 173) this Friday during a committee meeting. This bill sets a target for 25% of our energy in Utah to come from renewable sources by 2025. Can you please contact Sen. Fife and urge him to vote for SB 173? Below is a sample message you can use, and here is Sen. [ X's contact info [find it yourself at the Utah State Senate site. ] Make sure to say you are his constituent and to vote “Yes on SB 173, Renewable Energy Provisions.” Here is a sample message/e-mail note: Subject: From Constituent: Vote Yes on SB 173, Renewable Energy Provisions Body: Dear Sen. X, As your constituent, I ask that you please vote “yes” on SB 173, Renewable Energy Provisions. I believe this is the bill Utah needs to develop the clean energy resources we have in our state. SB 1...

Selenite Originally uploaded by Theorris My grandfather was a prospector in Southern Utah and consequently was a rock hound. He had thousands of specimens which he would enter into mineral and rock shows. Here is one of his specimens, a piece of selenite (a gypsum). It was not the easiest thing to photograph, as I wanted its translucence and ability to spread light to be shown. Selenite is the same chemical composition as alabaster, in case you wanted to know. Selenite is just the clear, well clearer, version of it. You can see some of my grandfather's rock collection and his entire arrowhead collection at Southern Utah University .

I went to this movie on the off-chance. While it was not in anyway narratively interesting, I am stunned by its visual impact. I don't give a flying fuck about its story, in fact. I just want to experience it again. Interestingly enough, the movie does destroy the possibility of narrative and takes it right down to the personal, visual experience. Wonderful set-pieces here. Stunning movie. Stunning. I like the idea of a popular movie destroying narrative but keeping it all the same. I know that makes no sense, but you have to experience the movie to understand, I fear. Now, that said, I think I was compelled by this movie, because it tried to establish a story (and that silly purpose remained throughout) but what really became important was how the visual becomes the sole purpose. To me this movie was a very expensive art movie that someone got away with it. That stuns me. Analysis hat is on tight. Stay tuned for some pop-culture analysis.

Get on this, readers: Earlier this month, the Utah Radiation Control Board was the first state agency to take a stand against EnergySolutions’ plan to import 20,000 tons of nuclear waste from Italy. Now you can make your voice heard, too. The Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) is taking public comments starting today on EnergySolutions’ request to import nuclear waste from Italy’s defunct reactors. Help us send a message to the NRC that importing another country’s nuclear waste sets a bad precedent for Utah and the U.S. to become the world’s nuclear waste dump and endangers our health, safety, and security. You can email your comments through our web-form here: http://www.healutah.org/energysolutions/ItalianWasteComments You can also mail your comments to: Office of the Secretary, U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission Washington, DC 20555 Attention: Rulemaking and Adjudications The federal government has been at Utah’s door in the recent past, asking for our approval to let nuclear was...

"Do you realize?" Originally uploaded by Theorris Listen to the Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize," as soon as possible, please.

January Thaw Originally uploaded by Theorris It is in the 40s today. I'm wearing my hoodie, and am perfectly warm. Funny, that. I hope it will snow some more.

Coffee at midnight Originally uploaded by Theorris What in the hell am I thinking? Like I get enough sleep as it is and I go and amp myself up when I should be fast asleep.

Shipler revisited Originally uploaded by Theorris This was taken roughly from the same spot as Shipler's photograph from December 1950 . I think in 2010, I'll go to the same spot in December and take another. I should have taken this one in December 2007, given that the buildings (now demolished) would have still been there. A kid walked by while I was taking this and said in reference to the demolition: "Its sad, isn't it?" Note the big differences--B&N, no more Redman Movers sign, no more buildings to the right. Shipler also had a real panorama camera. I just have its digital equivelant (therefore the stitching.) Note the similarities: cars and precious-few pedestrians. Which do you like better?

Dostoevsky Originally uploaded by huxleyesque Good choice*, readers. While I think Underground Man (or Notes from the Underground ) is probably the most essential reading of Dostoevsky , I think The Possessed is probably my favorite work of his. I spent many a dark winter night pouring through the text while writing one of the best papers I wrote in college on that book. I'm hesitant to dig into my box of juvenilia (which I retrieved some time ago from my mother's basement) to see if it is as good as I remember. Somehow, I think my recollection glorifies and distorts my perception, making my existence a cruel joke. My lack of authenticity astounds. See, I have read a lot of Dostoevsky. *I voted for Tolstoy, by the way.

Acquainted with the night Originally uploaded by Theorris We have lots of snow at the Wilhelm. Quite enjoyable, really. Not a speck of inversion.

'A lot of people think just the opposite, that's the best time to trade people,'' Sloan said. 'If you listen to everybody, but I don't listen to everybody.' ( Sa lt Lake Tribune - Utah Jazz: Korver ignited Shaq trade ) That said, they better not trade anyone but Collins, if they suddenly Sloan starts listening to everybody.

No doubt the wankers at the SL Trib will be whinging (yet again) about how the Jazz blew a 16 point lead, but those nit wits thrive on stirring up discontent. The Jazz, while losing that lead, were hammered, but calling on the strength they've gained since this streak began, the withstood the sledgehammer. I particularly liked Harpring's no-compromise play against Anthony et al which was interesting since Milsap and Okur were the ones to foul out. Anthony was just taking advantage of anyone who didn't play him hard. Lesson learned since the come-back: they lean on you, lean back. Jazz win, in overtime, 188 to 115. See you in Salt Lake, punks.

I saw this on WFMU's Beware the Blog: -Record Store Day-. Given the recent demise of Orion's Music here in SLC, I think it only fitting that we try to keep the few independents left in town such as Slow Train alive.

chocolatevanillaliberty Originally uploaded by peluda2007 Woo hoo! I've been Creative Commonsed (well almost.) I've emailed the dude letting him know he has to give me credit and must remove his "All Rights Reserved" bullshit. Creative Commons! Boo yeah!

9 Straight! Originally uploaded by Theorris Three point fest tonight. Rock on. A comment was made that "we won't see that happening again for a long time from a Jerry Sloan team" by, I think, Jeff Hornacek. Despite his experience with Sloan, I certainly hope that is not the case. It has been nice watching the Jazz develop the long bomb game, along with a strong inside presence over the last 2 years. Sloan has been unfairly categorized as a inside game guy. Perhaps he's changing in his old age. Perhaps he can develop a full-court sense. Perhaps he skillfully works with the players he has on hand. I think that is the case. With Okur, Korver, Kirilenko, Miles, and Williams as potential long ballers, I think he is set. Given that Okur has suddenly ramped up his inside game, I think we're golden. Round 3* in the finals, here WE (as in the Jazz) come! Now if the Jazz pull of a Conference win, oh my. *Parker's out. Marbury won't get in the groove ...

Giants! Originally uploaded by Theorris And you know why New England didn't win? Because nobody, and I mean nobody is ever going to beat my 72 Miami team.

Given that I am getting tired of missing literary readings here in good old SLC, I decided to make a Google Calender devoted to that subject. You can find it over there --> If you want to join the calender and you have a Gmail account, just click on the + sign next to the Google logo (it is at the bottom). If you want to add events to it, let me know and I'll add you as a calender participant.

Man, it is easy to forget. I've been throwing my inane pictures up on the web for so long, that I even forget when I aggregate them. Way back in 2004 (May to be exact). If you have the gumption, enjoy a fascinating trip: eye of orris . After I joined flickr, I ditched The Eye and have been using it to post interesting pictures I've seen on flickr. Man, I'm a sucker for flickr. Now that Yahoo is selling out to Micro$oft, I should probably find a new picture home, I suppose.

Cheers! Originally uploaded by Theorris Happy Groundhog Day!

Hopefully the Jazz won't fall to pieces after the all star break (as they did last year). Given that Boozer had a horrible night, the Jazz team performance shows strength (unlike last year). They are back on track for my first game prediction. Salt Lake Tribune - Utah Jazz: Utah overcomes off-night from stars : "The Jazz have rebounded from a dismal December to one of the hottest teams in the NBA in 2008: 92.9: Average points against during winning streak, which is about 10 points better than before the streak. 7: Number of consecutive Jazz victories, including three on the road."

Come to think of it, all the things I've posted recently I love. Even the DMV. You should consider all my posts around this as things I love. How's that for an easy way out?

The snow Originally uploaded by Theorris This is another love post. This, I love.