Friday, February 29, 2008

Peeves, of the pet kind

I could write about the horrible Jazz loss to the Hornets tonight, but instead I will introduce a new feature to Signifying nothing, Peeves, of the pet kind [TM]. This feature, which I will no doubt abandon like a Vacation Macaque on a bender abandons his last Budweiser, struck me tonight as I realized that I really hate it when my fingernails are not trimmed to their bare minimum (without causing pain.) This leads, of course, to another peeve: fingernails that are trimmed too closely (which causes pain and unfortunate bleeding).

Don't you just hate both conditions? Actually, I guess, female readers will be much more conflicted about their fingernail length. Perhaps you can teach me something: how the hell do you deal with long fingernails, women? The feeling of overly-long nails, to me, is like scratching said nails on a blackboard. It is an irritation. It is disturbing.

When they are too short, of course, that is just painful.

Can we have a happy medium? Aristotle, why have you abandoned us to nails that are too short or too long?!

Where are my robot fingernails that trim themselves?! Isn't this 2008?!

Wow! I actually used the "bang" (?!) thrice!

My nails, however, are neatly trimmed. Well not neatly, but at least they don't bug me and I'm not in pain.

How's that for the most mundane post ever? See you can get writing out of trimming your nails.

Next peeve of the pet kind up to bat: how the ?! (bang) annoys the fucking shit out of me.


1 comment:

  1. I am in complete agreement with your peevishness on this topic. When I started playing the piano at age eight, I was required to keep my fingernails short short short (again, not the point of pain), and I can't stand them being longer than optimal piano-playing-length. Even when I put dark polish on them, they still have to be short. Short!