I had a friend ask me a baffling question yesterday. He was trying to decide what to get his dad for the upcoming father's day. "In theory, what would you get your dad for father's day," he said after he told me what he was thinking of getting. I was taken aback by the question. I think it was the "in theory" thing that stunned me most. I mean I know he has been dead for 25 years now, but I he did exist and not "in theory." I wasn't going to quible the word, since I know what my friend meant, and that lead to the next depressing thought: I wouldn't even know what to get. I had a clear image of my Dad in my mind at that point, sitting on the tractor in his work shirt. When I was little, maybe 7 or 8, I took a picture of that moment, so the image persists in my head. I immediately thought that I would buy him gloves. Strong leather work gloves. Gloves like he wore back then.
"I don't know," I responded wanting to move on from the subject. "I don't know."
I can't even open the door to this thought.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I can make myself visit his grave for the first time.
Your entry has stuck with me all day. I've pondered several things like the "in theory" part and the friend that said it. Also how it must be that the latest memory of your father is at least 27 years old and most seen from the eyes of a child.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think your father would love those gloves.
Perhaps we whose fathers have died should have a father's day project--like buying something that our dad might like that we too would like. Like gloves. Or steak. Or a new pizza stone. We would then make up for all the bad dad presents we bought before as well as bring something new into our lives that reminds us of them, without being "memorabilia." I'm thinking my dad would have liked a Baci Ball set.
ReplyDeleteI get that damn old spice soap-on-a-rope every year.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop.
He just puts the new ones in the cabinet with the other 32 I have purchased over the years. He hates the shit.