Signifying nothing

Outside my office (at and undisclosed super-secret location) is a bulletin board where I have posted a flier from the Adbuster's folks about "Buy Nothing Christmas." The ad has a picture of Santa who, posed like a Buddha, is levitating above the words "Rise Above It/Buy Nothing Christmas." Personally, I have no intention of buying absolutely nothing, but I thought the folks who are campaigning against our gluttonous society deserved a small amount of space to state their case. It was interesting, therefore, to hear the following monologue outside my office today: "Buy Nothing Christmas?! Rise Above It?! What does that mean? ! Are they boycotting Christmas or something?!" Ultimately this person proves the Buy Nothing Group's parsimonious point: Christmas has been converted wholesale into a commercial holiday where it is not just connoted with buying goods, but is denoted by egregious spending, excluding any other trifling religious significa...

A victory for satirists everywhere: "San Francisco - The corporate owners of the popular children's television character Barney the Purple Dinosaur have agreed to withdraw their baseless legal threats against a website publisher who parodied the character and to compensate him for fees expended in defending himself." ( EFF: Breaking News ) Yay! Yay! Let's all sing now! Yay!

Spiff: Local First Utah - Home Jennifer Napier-Pierce has a interview with Local First Utah's Gavin Noyes, executive director in episode #65 of her podcast Inside Utah . In a related topic, Napier-Pierce also talks to Christi Paulson on the idea of "slow food."

I completely missed the 5th anniversary of Signifying nothing in this format and now I think it wants a divorce.

Don't wash your cell phone and expect it to work again. There is a cool indicator just inside the battery compartment of a cell phone that indicates that the device has been immersed in liquid (see #1). It is still necessary to write down phone numbers despite having a cell phone (see #1). (" Arrogance ", Cesare Ripa)

The computer woman who reads aloud my blog posts at Talkr has a charming way of saying "muthafucker." See I got her to say it again. I am so laughing my ass off right now.

All yall muthafuckas still talking sheyat about our Jazz better shut the fuck right up now. Why? Down 20 points and pulled out a win in THEIR house, betyotch. That's right. Uh huh. We watched the game at Murphy's (a step down in bars) on Main Street in good old down town muthafuckin SLC. Props. (I swear too much.)

Did someone say "4 day holiday devoted to gluttony in its various forms?" , originally uploaded by Theorris .

"AND FINALLY: A perhaps-telling quote from Jazz coach Jerry Sloan, on injuries: 'Last year, we had so many injuries I think guys prayed they're going to get hurt. That's what happens. The more you play that way the more you get hurt.' ( deseretnews.com | Jazz feeling love from national media ) So the Jazz players were praying that they would get hurt or players from other teams were praying that the Jazz players get hurt? What way are they playing? Religiously, complete with prayers? Why, pray tell, is this a telling quotation? (Quote is a verb not at noun, god damn you.) Thanks once again, crack Deseret News sports editing team for making things crystal clear.

Witness my droogies: This wrinkle in time, can't give it no credit I thought about my space and I really got me down (got me down) I got me so down, I got me a headache My heart is crammed in my cranium And it still knows how to pound I was counting the rings And I fell into a sleep I peeked to see if you were way back when I was counting the trees Until a day when there was one I'd hoped beneath, asleep is where that you had been (Frank Black, "Headache".) Go find the song somewhere. I'm begging you. Go find it. Seriously.

JAZZ: Larry H. Miller Renames the Home of the Utah Jazz Yay! Utah Jazz now represent bringing in high-level nuclear waste into Utah. Yay! Go team! Nuclearize us all! Jesus. At least the Jazz won again. (By the way, EnergySolutions Arena qualifies as the fucking stupidest name ever in support one of the most heinously 1984-esque industries ever.)

A very good stationary store This must be the most surreal moment in television history. What the hell is up with Steve Allen and the piano?

Was Augustus Glump Carted Away by this Point in the Movie? , originally uploaded by Theorris . All that time in Disneyland for Extremely Wealthy Hicks and the only good picture I get was this one. Yeesh. I was really looking forward to taking pictures of Nashville too. Sherman Alexie called the resort hotel we were all staying at "a perfect analogy of America." Next time that you see that your convention is at Opryland, beware: high prices, long lines, recycled air, and shattered dreams.

Inside of the dome , originally uploaded by Theorris . See I told you the hotel is like Logan's Run. This was Carousel. Capricorn fives and sixteens.

I hate it here . I'm sleeping in a mall. It is Logan's Run . Let me run.

Travel Easy , originally uploaded by Theorris . Another week and more travel. I caught these 3 in the Detroit airport last Sunday, I think. I assume he must have been traveling from the Middle East. His girl was absorbed in her People magazine and tried to get him to look at it. He ignored her. Her mother (or perhaps his) looked nervous the entire time. Perhaps all is not well in the relationship. I fly out again tomorrow morning. Perhaps another relationship tableaux will be in the offing as I travel to the heart of the Middle South.

Oxford University Press blog (yes they have a blog) has something special for Lisa B.: "On November 14th, 1851 Herman Melville published Moby Dick, the classic tale of Captain Ahab's whale hunt." ( OUPblog: This Day in History: Moby Dick is Published )

"I will destroy you!" , originally uploaded by Theorris . The phrase "shits and giggles" really pisses someone I know off.

Either purposefully or unpurposefully some company has left their wireless completely unprotected here at DTW. I sit in the "Irish Pub" (I assume some sort of marketing sneezitch of Guiness Corp--are they owned by Miller/Busch whoever now?) and have decided I have a moment to type. Yesterday was running solid for me from 5:30 a.m. to midnight (both Mountain time.) Busy is the name for conferences when you take on leadership positions. Anywhosits since I don't write about my professional existence here, I feel I am breaching some confidence: even if it is with myself. I suppose Dr. Write might think my unwillingness to blog about my professional existence here as somehow unwholesome--or at least too compartmentalized. I prefer, however, to keep the job and all it entails mostly in its little cage in the attic--or is it the other way round? Anyway the professional commitments allow me to travel a lot so that, naturally, intrudes upon my personal life. A guy right ne...

blue light special , originally uploaded by Theorris . I'm out of here for a couple of days. My Microtel, however, supposedly has wireless access, so expect an update from Ann Arbor. Maybe. If I feel like it. If I see anything interesting. Yeah, I can hear you now: "Some blue light special this is!" Aren't they all that way? I mean you get over to the flashing podium in Big K and it turns out the blue light special is tighty whiteys.

Walk past the polling station with its American flag posted in a planter to another set of doors thinking they would not have put the voting booths in the Catholic church's sanctuary. Enter those doors, look around and realize you have the wrong place. Turn around and spot several people leaving the other doors you passed up and realize your mistake. Walk back to the flag, look around and note the "Vote hear!" sign on the wall by the other doors. Enter the doors, spot more signs that lead past the sanctuary to a set of stairs leading to the church's basement. Follow the signs down, turn left at the bottom of the stairs and spot the election judges processing fellow citizens to conduct their suffrage. Wait patiently for a few people to be signed in. State your name clearly and somewhat loudly so the geriatric poll worker hears you. Wait for her to find your name. Sign your name upside down opposite your name. Take a yellow card and step to the next poll worker who take...

103 to 101 my droogies.  Want to take bets on when the Jazz don't make it over 100?  

106 my minions!  106!

Hmm: the Starlight Mints are going to be in Provo at Velour on the 8th. Are they worth a trip into the land of extreme happiness?

The Jazz did show up As young as they are And proceeded to wipe The floor of poor Phoenix As old as they are Nash Nash the gnashing of the Teeth 108 One O eight. Down fifteen at one point And then back to win What do you know? We'll leave it at that.

Ashdown Action Figure! Best political advertisement ever. Ever. EVER. (I am absolutely not kidding. It is brilliant.)

I've only got one thing to write to summarize the Jazz's walloping of Houston last night: "107 freaking points. 107 freaking points." OK that was two things, but since it is repetition it can count as one. I don't recall the last time the Jazz broke a hundred (although I'm sure they did it some time last year) but they haven't done it with such ease and adept play since 2 B.S.M. (Before Stockton-to-Malone). Boozer took it to the basket with authority. Miles held a solid outside. Williams showed he can lead a team. Fisher saved their asses when the team began a classic Jazz out-of-control spin in the 4th and brought them back to the afore-mentioned 107 freaking points. The only disappointment was Kirilenko, but his contribution really wasn't needed anyway because Yao was about as about as big a cry baby flat foot as Ostertag ever was last night. See this is what you get when you let your players play rather than trying to coach them to death. T...