Thursday, November 22, 2007

Ubiquitous Holiday Clip Show*

I was searching for a factoid for HightouchMegastore and came across this entry from 3 years ago (cue dreamy "memory music" and wavy transition):

Admit one

part 1: "when the shooting stops there will be a movie no one will watch but me"

Ah, Thirsty Thursday! I'm not sure it gets much better than going to the ball park to watch baseball on a temperate summer evening. Well it could have been better if the Stingerzzzzzzzz actually had a chance to win. It was a sad, sad, state of affairs. The the fourth inning they were behind by 11. Oy. The only reason to stay through the whole game, however, was that you could double-fist microbrews. At two bucks a brew, I was in baseball Walhalla, pouring libations to the mighty baseball gods.

part 2: "The birds were insane/flapping all about."

It is somewhat unnerving to hear a light tap on the screen door and then have a timid voice say "do you guys smoke pot?" at 2 a.m. Having no pot and not being a pot smoker, I think I might have preferred to ignore the strange request, but you can't really ignore a knock on a screen door, especially when whoever it is can see right in the room. We all sat and looked at each other for a moment, and then one of us with enough presence of mind went to see who the hell would be tapping on someone's door at such an hour asking such a question.

The girl, as she told us over a glass of water, was very drunk. It was her birthday. She hiked up her fishnet stockings while pulling down her white miniskirt. Under her peroxide bangs her eyes were leaded black with mascara. She and her boyfriend, it would seem, had a fight and she had stormed off, to wander the streets of Salt Lake. She was from Utah county, far from home.

There was a bit of suspicion over her initially, but it was clear that she really was quite drunk, and for her own safety it was important that we keep her off the streets. Luckily she had a cell phone, and she managed to contact her boyfriend, who, unfortunately seemed equally as drunk as she.

It is strange what goes through people's heads when they are drunk.

The night wore on and two and then one and then none kept watch over her. When I woke up in the morning to the sun beating down on me from the front room window she was gone without a note or any token to remind us that she had ever even crossed our paths. There was something dreamlike or nightmarish about it all.

Entry 301-618 ( permanent) posted by Clint on Friday,July 16,2004 at 12:52:33 PM. 2 comments

*I officially jumped the shark 2 years ago when I brought in cousin Oliver and Pinky Tuscadero to bring life back into the show, to utter failure, so doing a clip show really won't hurt my ratings now will it? It is, in fact, almost necessary at this point given the fact that I am running desperate for material to fill out the rest of the NaMoBloMoMoFro commitment. Signifying nothing is officially in its 7th season as a regulation blog, after all. It all started way back when...(cue music and segue to wavy transition.)

I really need to add a laugh track to this thing. The studio audience just isn't cutting it any more.

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