Orange life vests are for pussies or Getting it Right

Ok we were all sitting around enjoying the long weekend birthday bash for Catinlap aka the Late JC when the irrepressible Jacquie mentioned a series of amusing GI Joe PSA remixes.

I haven't laughed so hard since the last time I found myself on the floor, laughing.

How I spent the weekend

The view, originally uploaded by Theorris.

Great snow. Fresh pow. Started snowing on Friday and hadn't quit by the time we left. Nice.

Oh yeah and the Jazz won! I was so pissed at officiating at one point that I had to go outside--which wasn't very far given that we had a sweet triple balcony complete with a hot tub which threw water at you even if no one was in it.

PSA

Update: Well that didn't work. Guess that is what I get for posting from a "fully functioning luxury resort." There is a movie reference there and it was hilarious at the time I made it. Not so much now.

Signifying nothing Biggest Basketball Asshole of the Year

Well the NBA has its MVP of the year, so your friendly Signifying nothing editor has decided to establish the "Signifying nothing Biggest Basketball Asshole of the Year." (The Snabby Shabby Assholaria.)

While there were many good candidates this year all the way from overly-whiny players to overly-zealous, you want to fight, big guy? you want to fight? referees, (drum roll please) the Snabby Shabby Assholaria goes to Carmelo Anthony of the unfortunate Denver Nuggets for his sucker-punch run away! run away! style.

(Rim shot.)

Good job, Melo you asshole, you! If you're going to throw a punch like that, at least have the balls to stick around and face the consequences. Pussy. (See Condiment: I've been out of high school for nigh on 2.5 decades and I can use "pussy" in appropriate circumstances and with not a flinch of shame at my Jr. High-based language.)

Any nominees for the Basketball Asshole Hall of fame?

Thoughts that make you stop dead in your tracks

I was posting a long meditation on my professional blog when I realized that my parents were married on this day 57 years ago. That threw me. If they had lived they'd have been 78 now.

I hate getting thrown for a loop by time.

Ben Tiedman tells all or pathos rulz!

Ah how much I love the Onion:

I'm not some pathetic, lonely soul who sits in front of his computer refreshing his e-mail in hopes that somebody from HarperCollins, Three Rivers Press, or Random House will offer me a book deal. In fact, to prove how little I'm expecting from the blog career-wise, I'm taking the next few weeks off to focus on my spec script for Two And A Half Men—which I'm doing strictly for the practice, you understand. I could care less if it lands me an agent and a three-movie deal with Paramount. (The Onion, If Someone Wanted To Publish My Blog Entries For Money, I Wouldn't Say No | The Onion - America's Finest News Source)

or

Hey there. Remember me? I'm that kid who had a report due on space. You probably don't recognize me because it was a long time ago. I used to wear my hair totally different. It was in this sort of Prince Valiant-style pageboy bowl cut. Hey, it was the mid-'80s, what can I say? Sometimes, I look at old pictures of me, with that hair, and I think to myself, "You sure have come a long way since the days when you had that report due on space."

You sure you don't remember me? That kid? Who had a report due? On space?

For a couple years afterwards, I'd get recognized pretty often. People would come up to me and be like, "You look so familiar. Where do I know you from?" And then I'd say, "Encyclopedia Britannica. I'm that kid who had a report due on space," and they'd slap their foreheads and be all like, "I knew I recognized you from somewhere! (The Onion, "Remember Me? I'm That Kid Who Had A Report Due On Space")

Window poem

Window poem, originally uploaded by Theorris.