Saturday, July 12, 2008

How I'm stimulating the economy

Given that I finally received my "Economic Stimulus" payment (it says that right on the fancy Statue of Liberty emblazoned gubmint check), I have decided to spend it egregiously on items that I can no doubt live with out, but want, rather than using it for, oh, buying 150 gallons of gasoline. Given that I don't currently own a car, finding a place to put the gasoline seemed like too much work. Buying a new car seems like more work, and just about as exciting as root canal. With that, instead of suffering because of high fuel prices, I get to stimulate the economy in my own weird way.

Item 1: Official Utah Jazz away jersey with "Theorris" imprinted on the back. I chose the number 83 since that was my high school football number. I shall wear it disc golfing today.
Item 2: 3 new books, hardbound and all first editions. The Ten Most Beautiful Experiments by George Johnson. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris. The Butt by Will Self. (I must note that Self's book is actually stimulating the British economy as I bought it from, since the book is not out in the U.S. yet.) Now I'm a book buyer, that's for damn sure, but I rarely go to the extravagance of buying 3 hardbound books at once, especially one that I only bought out of impulse--the George Johnson book.
Item 3: JPG Magazine. I never buy magazines unless I'm on a long flight. I have been eying this magazine for some time, however, since it publishes amateur photographers (who are actually quite good.)
Item 4: La Crosse technology Weather Pro Center. Only a few before this purchase knew about my fascination with weather instruments.
Item 5: A pair of fancy Vasque hiking boots on sale at REI. Now that's extravagance.

I think I'll buy some expensive booze with what is left of the money.

So for once I get to live like the rich. Throwing my not-hard-earned money around like its going out of style.


  1. You go! I'm glad you're doing your part. I'm not sure what we did with ours. Paid off our credit card? But I did buy some expensive wine.

  2. My goodness, what a splendid assortment of extravagances. Huzzah, the orris! We're still spending ours on trips to Idaho.

  3. So you guys get paid to live in the states? What a great country! (I think it rather asinine that the government thinks its role is to handout money when the economy starts to tank. Where is that in the constitution? I'm just jealous though because I'm not getting a check.)